Can i not drive my cunt home
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
