I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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