i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i came on her dog
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
