this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize