We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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