We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
