Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
