Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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