Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
