we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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