Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just cropdusted the office
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
