Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
