just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
