One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
