Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
