I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
