He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
