I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
