Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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