Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
