soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
