No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
