I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
