I want to walk on stilts...naked
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
