We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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