You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
