They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
