Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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