At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Randomize
