The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
