All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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