Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
