I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
