Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
