i can't believe i had my finger in that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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