Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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