I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
