Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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