I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
