My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize