You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
