There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
PANTIES FOUND
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