What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize