so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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