how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
