Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
