Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Too much gin, very little bucket
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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