he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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