Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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