i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
