What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Acid is not a monday night drug
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
