I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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