i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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