we have officially lost it.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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