walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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