she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
