She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My feet surprised me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
