hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
