Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
